“It’s how children learn the skills that lead to listening,
empathy, self-confidence and self-worth.”
“It’s the moments that, in the long run, are remembered.”
As a sort-of gardener, I’m confident about seeds. I trust them. I know that they contain miracles of life. I marvel at their complexity. Like the imaginal cells of a caterpillar, who hold the hidden secret of the future butterfly, seeds carry the miraculous potential of becoming an amazing plant. All they need is the right care and sustenance.
Humans are the same way….with the right connections and support, the potential for resilience and thriving is innately present. With this inherent powerhouse of individual potential, it’s not our role to “make” them into what we want, what would satisfy and fulfill us, or a duplicate of ourselves.
Our job is the growth environment that nourishes the imaginal cells inside our children, and inside of ourselves.
What if it’s the growth environment that gives us the tools to steer between the going, the doing, and the chaos?
One of those nurturing ingredients goes back to the concept of accessing space, the 99.99+ percent. It’s about the space of moments between the doing, the moments of connections, playing, feeling, celebrating, breathing, pausing, and eye to eye connection. It’s the space we give to ourselves to watch our own feelings and bite our tongues and breathe when urged to jump right into the next thing, to react, or to try to mold something into our image or view.
We know space
when there’s silence
when we sit with children holding curiosity or an open-ended question
when we allow each other to go below the surface
we give breath and time for another to feel and grieve
when we allow concerns and fears to percolate to the surface
when we believe in the hope that can come on the heals of grief
when we connect with nature along with our children
when we ride out hard feelings
when we give genuine gratitude and appreciation
when we take the time to connect body, mind and spirit.
It might mean doing a little less. It might mean hanging out in the unknowing. It inevitably means digging deeper into our own healing, sending a whisper of compassion to our own shut off parts.
It’s not about perfection. It never is. We learn as we go.
When we struggle, we join together, help each other, get support and learn.
It’s how children learn the skills that lead to listening, empathy, self-confidence and self-worth.
They are the moments that, in the long run, are remembered.